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The Silence

There, but unseeing.

I have come to a point where self reflection is a necessity and i believe it comes with age.  As commented on a friends blog  a lot of things have come to light.  One of which is social networking. 

" I find the solitude here (blog) welcoming but depressing. 
Most friends have slipped through the proverbial cracks and I
haven't the slightest clue how to gain them back. You are one
I thought I lost.  Slowly slipping away from the world unknown
of your location. With all the media and social networking I
perceived my relations would get stronger only to have them be
further away then initially comprehensible."
The so called items to bring us close together have driven us worlds apart.  I do not need to know if you are tired or what you had for breakfast.  Tell me about the moon and how you spent the night with a friend.  Better yet, call me to tell me.  Or unthinkable, let me be the friend who shares that experience with you.  If I can't because of the distance? Then call me, but please stop posting pictures of your soggy toast. No one wants to see.


I feel out of place and old.

I look down on my hand and feel glee and contentment, but wonder, did I grow up too fast? Changing diapers at 10 years old to a sister who fondly tells her class. "She must get her way" and that I come from "strict and no fun land." Engaged at 20 years old. I have a home to go to with a loving soon to be husband. We talk about babies and the future. When I tell people my real age, they don't believe me.

"Wait, you are only 21? I thought you were much older than that?"

Did I grow up to fast, not enjoy the bliss of a crazy teenager sneaking out of the house. A silly college student going to parties to laugh at all the drunk people? Hanging out with friends at 2am just because you could.

I have become an antisocial adult, and soon I will be moving to a state far away where I don't know anyone.

It makes me wonder, would anyone even know if I was dead?


So, Life.

I have become a shut in person, who barely goes outside to see the world, and explore my surroundings. I don't know how I feel about this. I didn't think I was that bad until just recently when it really hit me. I haven't really seen or talked to any one (besides work, and Jeremy) since ummm..... yeah. Mostly the noble people, mind you. Granted, I have always been the type of person to withdraw from crowds and lots of people, but lately I have been doing it more and more so if I died, no one would really know until maybe a month later. Maybe, if I am lucky.

I'm not depressed or sad, just reflecting on my current situation. Funny how this works.

I'm coming home soon. I'm very excited about this.

Other then that everything has been going well. I finished my last summer class on Friday. Work is work, but i enjoy the people even if the pay is crud. I should probably do something about this, like get new job, but the location is very nice. (I hear wal-mart pays better)

Yeah. My summer class was about the teaching process and the teacher was AMAZING! She was such a good resource since she teaches middle school and knows what works and what doesn't.

Jeremy and I are doing lovely. he is moving down to Delaware Mid August to start up his new job at the university. Long distance relationship.. Fun. But i figure, if this works then nothing can stop us from being together for a very long time. This makes me very happy.

Right now there is a black and white furball sleeping next to me. Usually she does't get bedroom privlidges (Because she is a med fur cat who lieks to shed EVERYWHERE) but I'm nice and like the company. Even if she is dreaming about killing mice.

I guess I really do not have a lot to say. I've been in the same routine for a while. School, lunch, work, dinner, sleep. Now it is just, Sleep, lunch, work, dinner, sleep. Haha. I'm so predictable.

Well I miss and love you all.
Hope to see you all soon.

mmmm insane


2 years done... This past semester was the best semester ever. I got a 3.81 GPA for the semester which boosted my accumulative GPA to 3.41 (Yipee)

The boy, Jeremy, and I are doing just fine.

I am taking some summer classes this year which are fun so far. Because of this i am still at university. (which is really wierd since almost NO ONE is here. Besides Faculty)

Life is good otherwise. Just living day by day and stopping to smell the flowers as much as I can.

Oh! And I am eating German chocolate.

Car went KAplow!

First tip of advice....

GET AAA they = love

So I being the self concious driver that I am check all my tires for air and do a general inspection of my car before any long trips, well obviously not enough...

Jenny, Jon and i are all sitting in my car looking forward to getting home at 6pm when around 4 some horrendous noise rattles throuh my car. Thinking it was ice I continue driving along untill my car makes a horedous tiking sound....

and then the oil light comes on....

then i start to pull over to the side of the road and my whole engine stops....

We are stuck, and broken down in the middle of nowhere on the High way...


Luckily Jenny had AAA and we were able to get a tow truck.
After an Hour and a half after breaking down the tow truck and Jeremy the wonderful boyfriend arrive.

My poor car is hemeraging oil as jon said.

So we all pile into jeremy's car and follow the tow truck, with my car in tow, to the local VIP.

Jeremy takes a look at it and finds that the big clanking sound that we all heard was my oil plug falling out.
(I think or oil drain plug) So thus why my car was leaking oil... everywhere....

well luckily VIP had one and I bought it, along with oil.

Then TADA car works, major ticking, but it works! I take it for a spin, fill up on gasoline, and take it back.

Pick up jenny and Jon and say goodbye to jeremy with lots of hugs and kisses.

Finally we all get home by 9 - 9:30pm....


Well Happy Feb 29th to me!
Damn Leap year.

The Groundhog Said So.

6 more weeks of winter.

Off Campus Living.

Fun. Different. Exciting and new. It is a new situation. I'm living with two other people who have full time jobs and I'm the runt, with school. 4 and 1/2 semester's to go!

Teaching. Probably the wrong career for me. I'll live.

Yeah. Food time.

I hate it when you have a great thought of what you are going to wrte and then you go to write it an the words become jumbled.

I haven't drawn in a while. Last time I drew anything was when I was at a school consolidation meeting. I drew eyes. Eyes of knowing? To see? Simple doodles? most likely.


So, this thing...

Life is good.

My mac doesn't see my battery so i get to yell at Apple care tomorrow.

The end.

Write me a poem and i shall give you a dream...

*chomp chomp munch munch*


...and probably won't for another wicked long time....


did i mention DD eats my soul?


Good luck 2007

My all your dreams come true :)

Love and hugs to all.

Apr. 13th, 2007


I love this day. Did i mention that it is snowing too?

How sweet.